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tomo127
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Name: Tomoko
Country: United States
State: Washington
Metro: Seattle
Gender: Female
Interests: having conversations, hanging out with friends, dvd watching, SLS, kung fu, ummm programming... maybe
Occupation: Engineering
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  TomokoLM
Member Since:
2/8/2003
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| Since it's impossible for me to live my life without regrets, (it seems like) I want to live looking forward and not backwards (looking back at my regrets) and rest in the fact that God provides second chances and trust in Him to provide me the strength and wisdom to move forward. | | |
| empoweredPhillipians4 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I really like all of Phillipians 4. It's my fav verse to meditate when I feel troubled. I really should meditate on it more, so the words will be in my heart always! | | |
| mood is sad when body is sadhrm I realize physical ailment really does affect my mood... I feel kinda sad and frustrated all the time while recovering from my surgery. I decided to go off vicodin after the first day cuz it was giving me hives. So I've been controlling pain with ibuprofen instead. Which actually I think goes better with my body but it's not as strong as vicodin, so I feel more pain. Today wasn't so bad though. hopefully I'll recover a lot more tomorrow since I'm back to work on tues!
Now I know why ice cream is essential to recovery.... gotta go buy more tomorrow.
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| the Blood ExperienceI had my gum surgery yesterday... on vicodin every 4 hour routine today  arrgh I hope that recovery wouldn't be as painful as last time. No infections please!
So the blood incident. The nurse had so much problems drawing blood! She poked so many times saying how she can't find the vein... that never happened to me before. usually nurses find the vein on the first try. Anyway, it hurt and I was scared of the surgery so I started hyperventilating.... and so the nurse stopped drawing more blood and brought me the oxygen tube to stick in my nose.
and the first thought that came into my mind is : "God, I don't want to die yet."
yah I know that sounds melodramatic, but honestly I feel as though I'm fighting through life and I would just feel tired. Mostly I'm fighting through my childhood hurts, and I feel as though I want it to be over soon. But when faced with pain and my concisousness is starting to fade.. I guess it kicks in. No, I want my character to be refined more, I want to love people better, I still have lots to do.... Unless it;s God calling me Home, I really shouldn't feel like I want it to be over.
Time for vicodin.... I'm starting to feel a lot of pain >_< Please pray for my recovery...
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| FearThere is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us. -1 John 4:18-19
I think I live quite a bit in fear. Sometimes I feel overridden by it, sometimes I'm just living my days as they come by, but in general, I'm really scared of a lot of things that can go wrong. I live in fear.
But of course I realize that I'm afraid of the world and what could do to me. God's plans are a lot larger than that. It's something I really need to meditate on.
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