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tomo127
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Name: Tomoko
Country: United States
State: Washington
Metro: Seattle
Gender: Female
Interests: having conversations, hanging out with friends, dvd watching, SLS, kung fu, ummm programming... maybe
Occupation: Engineering
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  TomokoLM
Member Since:
2/8/2003
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| When I first took that personality test in San Diego, I was teeter-ing between an extrovert or introvert.
Since then I have slowly moved to I status....
by the time I took my pre marital counseling personality test, I was a full blown I.
Somehow I made this transition... right now I can say I'm definitely on the I side. I might even say I get weary of being around people after a while. I only feel "safe" with certain people. I need my alone time to play games, watch videos, or my own version of a bubble bath QT.
I was thinking what made that transition. Marraige is definitely one of them. Not just that I don't need a lot of company anymore, but marriage for me takes considerable amount of energy and I'm more tired. But moreover because I walk around, meet people, even at church and feel a little down. I can't really explain it, maybe it's because of the protective barrier that we feel around people and ourselves that we put up subconciously. Or the expectations, pride, or disappointments from people. Or this social pressure that at the age of 30-something you're supposed to have something together, like marriage, maybe kids, if not work, at least finances. And that makes people, ... well to say it bluntly, mean or fake nice but still judgemental at the back of the mind.
I feel that living up in Washington has been more freeing than in California. People here are more chill in general, and you don't see a bunch of expensive cars driving up and down the freeway. I'm praying that my heart will be changed to be able to feel at peace and be able to step out.
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| You know how something is whirling in your head, and someone speaks the word of Truth, just so insightful and personal, that it was like Jesus used them to speak to you? I just had one of those moments last night as I was having trouble falling asleep and God used my husband to say a simple word of wisdom. Which reminded me of how thankful I am that God watches over both of us and grows us as one. Just like how one frog said to the other frog, while siting on lily pads eating mosquitos, "Time's fun when you're having flies" These 4 years (!) seems to have flown by with all its ups and downs.  | | |
| I think I'm unable to look at the world objectively. Today I was having a conversation about whether people choose career over relationships, or is it the lack of relationship drives them to have a strong career. I feel that God has created us for relationship so I feel as though it is the latter is true. I'm not sure, so you can give me other input. Right now I know of a lot of people that work a lot of hours, over 40 hours is normal. For me, that would never be normal, I can't imagine myself working over 40 hours. Or do anything after work besides relax, hang out, etc. I dropped out of my masters program because I just couldn't do it while working. Or I can do it, but my relationship and sanity will suffer. I think it's impossible to have a good marriage and other relationships while working such long hours. and I have no idea what drives people to do so... We were talking that hmm maybe, low income people choose relationships over career, but high income people will actually choose career/money over being poor but a good marriage. Or, do people have a "I-want-it-all" attitude? Have a soaring career (working more hours) and a good marriage? Or has society dictates that people are supposed to work a lot of hours (and somehow maintain a good family too... whaaat??) I'm unable to look at all this objectively. *sigh* I feel sad at the world. | | |
| Since it's impossible for me to live my life without regrets, (it seems like) I want to live looking forward and not backwards (looking back at my regrets) and rest in the fact that God provides second chances and trust in Him to provide me the strength and wisdom to move forward. | | |
| Phillipians4 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I really like all of Phillipians 4. It's my fav verse to meditate when I feel troubled. I really should meditate on it more, so the words will be in my heart always! | | |
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